Joe Pivetti's Poetry, Haiku and Poesy: Poem 28
Return to Table

Don't Chalk Up the Foul Line to Yogi

What they said Yogi said (Yogi-isms):

I never said most of the things I said.
We made too many wrong mistakes.
Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.
A nickel ainít worth a dime anymore.
He hits from both sides of the plate. Heís amphibious.
You should always go to other peopleís funerals, otherwise, they wonít come to yours.
The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.
I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.
No one goes there any more because it's too crowded.
It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.
It gets late early out there.
If the people donít want to come out to the ballpark, nobodyís going to stop them.
We're lost, but we're making good time.
You can observe a lot by watching.
It ain't over 'til it's over.
It's deja vu all over again.
The future ainít what it used to be.
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
If you donít know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because Iím not hungry enough to eat six.
The mayor's wife told Yogi that "he looked cool in that suit", to which he replied "you don't look so hot yourself."
What Yogi never said (Quasi-Yogi-isms):

The sum is greater than the spare parts.
You get out of it what you don't put in.
You'll know where you're going when you stop going.
You can't make an omelet without cracking a couple of yolks.
When it comes to taking offense in baseball, you gotta hold your stance.
He was gonna wax poetic but he put it all on his mustache.
In baseball you get three strikes or four balls, but in a bowling shirt, even if you get thirteen strikes, you're not gonna go to no dances.
She sprinkles a little wherever she goes.
The weather is playing havoc instead of golf.
If you can't see what you're doing wrong, you should take a good look at yourself.
Who said "you can't talk with your mouth full"?
If he makes you itch, you should scratch him off your list.
Sure, he can hit a home run, but can he get on base?
You can't steal seconds unless you're a little off base.
Why go in for the whole deal when you ain't buyin' none of it?
Sometimes spring training is just refreshment.
Nobody said it because it'd already been said.
When life hands you lemons, you make lemon aids stand behind 'em to get the passed balls.
Why should the catcher have to get himself killed in a tight spot when it's not his idea to put on the suicide squeeze in the first place?
When in Rome, comb your hair like the Romans do.
If it's all the same to you, who could tell the difference?
He's smarter when he drinks because he has a high IQ.
I'm just a phone's throw away.
That's a hard knuckle to crack.
When a night game goes into extra innings, I just want to call it a day.
It's easy to give advice.  What's hard is tellin' someone what you would do.
Three to one it's an even bet.
What's wrong with pork barrel?  I mean, where else are ya gonna put the fat?

Copyright © 2019 by Joe Pivetti